Grief in my spirit. I hurt in the spirit. I am confused and exhausted and see no way out. I feel broken. I feel separated. I feel angry. I feel like there aren’t enough words to describe everything I feel in my spirit. This isn’t normal grief. I’ve felt more than my fair share of grief. This is heart sickness. This is deeper and more urgent. I just want to scream and cry and rage. I can’t be silent anymore. Wake up! Look around you! The world is burning. People are turning on everyone over anything. Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing. The world isn’t going back to the way it was. The world is dying. The human race is dying. This was all temporary! It’s the equivalent of fighting smoke. You can see it and feel it but you can’t hurt it! But it can and will hurt you. It will creep into your body and suffocate you before you even realize it’s there. Just like the things of this world. Chasing feelings and vibes are pointless. We are human our mood and feelings change from second to second! You cannot put your faith in humans, we all chase what is best for us. We are hardwired that way. If it doesn’t benefit me in some way then I’m not doing it.
When I was 14 I had a dream that I remember vividly. It was of a baby. That baby grew and matured, becoming an adult. Then as age crept in the adult became elderly and eventually passed away. The Bible spans that exact timeline. Old Testament, baby, toddler and kid. Humanity falls, they grow and they fall and get back up again by the grace of God. The New Testament, teenagers and adults. Humanity matured, they still fall away but by the Grace of God he sent his only son to teach us how to live and to save us and give us a chance we did not deserve. Revelation. Elderly, the end. Humanity’s time runs out. Those who put their trust and faith in Jesus Christ our Lord are saved. In Romans 4:11-12 it says, “For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to me, and every tongue will give praise to God. So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Humanity ends and we give our account to God. Everything we said, did, thought, on trial. If you have not confessed and everything is not covered by the blood of the lamb your story ends. And that is why I am so grieved. You have to know that you know that Jesus is the Son of God, the Savior of the world. Jesus is the only way.
“As many as I love, I rebuke and discipline. So be zealous and repent. See! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”
—Revelation 3:19-20 CSB
I am begging you. Search your heart. Search your life. Time is running out. Heaven needs to be crowded. Have a blessed night y’all.
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